Out on the Blatter

As you may or may not know, FIFA holds its Congress immediately before the World Cup, with Munich this year’s location. Luckily for David Taylor, qualification isn’t necessary.

Those of you hankering for a return to the days when terraces ran with piss and each stand came fully-furnished with up to two exits and its very own catastrophic fire will be delighted to hear that Wednesday saw the pouting, gorgeous, rabid Sepp Blatter take the platform at FIFA’s five-star hotel and denounce club owners for the "almost pornographic amounts of money" being offered to players.

Football, said Blatter – producing an onion from his inside pocket - is being invaded by "wild-west capitalism".

FIFA’s income in 2005 was £388m. This year, £826m in World Cup television rights will send that figure over £1billion. The federation’s annual expenses are £77m. During the 2002 FIFA presidential election, Somali FA member Farra Ado claimed Blatter attempted to buy his vote for $100,000. Just in case you’re not quite there yet, FIFA is based in Switzerland for, really, no good reason whatsoever.

Keep sticking it to The Man, Sepp.