Rio's World Cup Wind-ups

Frankly, I didn't think it was possible to dislike Ferdinand more, but how wrong I was.

The problem with the show, as far as I could see … okay, the main problem, was that the success of hilarious hidden-camera wind-up japery hinges upon issues of empathy and behaviour.

To put it bluntly, your victim needs to have normal self-esteem. Premiership stars, however, are impervious – shielded by their fame and money.

Thus we get Peter Crouch laughing at a midget; Wayne Rooney unmoved after killing a little boy's dog, and David James educating an art critic.

At the centre of it all, Ferdinand – silly finger-snapping and spitting fake gangsta patois like a particularly goofy ghetto Jeremy Beadle.

Okay, maybe not the finger-snapping bit.